Cricket Sledging Classics
1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match,
Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: “So how are your
your wife & my kids?” Botham: “The wife’s fine, but the kids are retarded.”
2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne:As Cullinan was on his way to the
wicket, Warne told him he had Been waiting 2 years for another chance
to humiliate him. “Looks like you spent it eating,” Cullinan retorted.
3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo
Brandes): “Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?” EddoBrandes: “Because
everytime I F*** your mother, she throws me a biscuit”
4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes: During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to
Smith after he played & missed:”You can’t f**king bat”. Smith to Hughes
after he smacked him to the boundary: “Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I
can’t f**king bat & you can’t f**king bowl.”
5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad during 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called
Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed:
“Tickets please”, Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.
6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards during a test match in the West Indies,
Hughes didn’t say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after
deliveries.
“This is my island, my culture. Don’t you be staring at me. In my
culture we just bowl.” Merv didn’t reply, but after he dismissed him he
announced to the batsman: “In my culture we just say f**k off.”
7. And of course you can’t forget Ian Healy’s legendary comment which
was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called
for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in
Sydney…”You don’t get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat
c**t!!!”
8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was
greeted by Mark Waugh……. MW : “F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what
are you doing out here, there’s no way you’re good enough to play for
England ” JO : “Maybe not, but at least i’m the best player in my family”
9. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: “So what does Brian Lara’s d*ck taste
like?” Sarwan: “I don’t know. Ask your wife.” McGrath (losing it): “If
you ever F*&king mention my wife again, I’ll F*ing rip your F*fing
throat out.”
10. Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Adam Parore)
comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball. Mark - “Ohh, I
remember you from a couple years ago in Australia . You were sh*t then,
you’re fu*king useless now”. Parore- (Turning around) “Yeah, that’s me
& when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly sl*t & now I
hear you’ve married her. You dumb c*nt”.
11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan
batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the
batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character
to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up,
“Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it.”
12. Ravi shastri v/s the aussie 12th man (don’t remember who, and don’t
want to slander anyone ) shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a
single…this guy gets the ball in and says “if you leave the crease
i’ll break your f***ing head” Shastri: “if you could bat as well as you
can talk you wouldn’t be the f***ing 12th man”
13. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and
missed a couple of times. Marshall : “Now David, Are you going to get out
now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?”
14. Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first
slip, and right between Raman Subba Row’s legs. Fred doesn’t say a
word.At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises
sheepishly. “I should’ve kept my legs together, Fred”. “So should your
mother” he replied.
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